Tuesday, July 19, 2011

I sould sue....

Maybe I Should Sue!

I should sue Eve for eating the freaking apple and causing womanhood to be so painful!

I should sue slim fast because I gained weight – those drinks make me hungry.

I should sue pregnancy and childbirth for giving me stretch marks and loose skin – oh and lots of pain!

I should sue Disney for always saying I’d get a Prince and live happily ever after – I got my Prince but my happily ever after isn’t always happy.

I should sue Hollywood because I’m not famous!

I should sue men for thinking my body doesn’t look good enough!

I should sue Victoria’s Secret because their lingerie doesn’t make me look like Heidi or Giselle!

I should sue Robert Redford for not dying in The Horse Whisperer and ruining a beautiful ending to a wonderful book!

I should sue Bill Clinton for making me look at cigars differently!

I should sue Serta ’cause the sheep didn’t show up!

I should sue the Navy for making deployments so long!

I should sue our ancestors for causing Global Warming!

I should sue Home Depot because I couldn’t do it and they didn’t help!

I should sue Wal-Mart because I spend too much money on nothing!

I should sue Anti-Wrinkle creams (all of them) because I see wrinkles when I smile!

I should sue Tom because he isn’t a good friend!

I should sue Father Time – ’cause he’s going to fast!

I should sue Kit for loving me so much – sometimes I don’t deserve it!

Maybe I should just wait until I am dead and let my estate (yeah right my estate) sue the Grim Reaper – ’cause he made me die!

Life is your own – you make the rules – set the limits and control it all! Stop letting greed and spite rule what you do! Just because it doesn’t go your way – doesn’t mean you weren’t in control of the situation – take responsibility for your choices and your life!

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