Being Sick

Okay so being sick is no fun. Being sick and being a "single" mom sucks! I know I'm not a typical "single" mom. Single moms get to date, get to go out and have fun, while this "single" mom still has a ring on her finger - that means she's completely attached to a man FOREVER! But the point to this post is that I'm sick and still a mom and I'm all alone!

I woke up on Mother's Day really sick. My throat hurt so bad I could not swallow or talk! Luckily my daughter is 11 and she can do a lot of things on her own. She was very sweet - she fixed me chocolate chip waffles (Leggo my Eggo!), and scrambled eggs, with Parmesan cheese in them. She also placed a yellow rose on the tray that carried my breakfast to me in bed. Then she sat there while I forced the food down my swollen, sore, raw throat. That's what mom's do, right? We suffer through things so our children will be happy. We ended up watching a movie and taking a nap.

Monday was about the same, couldn't swallow, couldn't talk. As the day progressed it became a little better, although the pressure building in my head became unbearable and so did the stabbing pains in my ears (the right ear was definitely worse). My daughter wanted to play a board game, I wanted to sleep.

Tuesday was a little better, as far as swallowing and talking - but the pressure and pain in the ears was worse. So I called and set up an appointment to go to the doctor, on Wednesday.

Wednesday started off a little better - however, the dizziness, pressure, and pain in the ears was scary painful. Driving to the doctors office I noticed how dizzy I really was and how it was affecting my eyesight as well. I was at the doctor's office for 2 hours. After which I was told that I have a double ear infection and a sinus infection. I'm also missing sinus cavities in my forehead, which may be causing more pain. So on the way home from the doctor's I had to stop by the drug store (30 minute wait) - then the grocery store (we were completely out of milk) - then finally I got to go home and relax....

Okay back to why it sucks being a "single" mom and sick. My daughter is the type that she wants to make you "feel better"! I'm the type of sick person that just wants to be left alone. That causes problems, tension, and hurt feelings. Luckily she is still in school and that allows me to have the day to myself - sleep, rest, relax, and not worry about being happy mom! But then school is over and she depends on me to give her the attention she needs. She also wants to be Miss. Helpful, which can be a bit too much when you're feeling so sick. The pressure built up in my head - as if my head was going to pop! My ears were ringing! The only thing I can think is I really wish my husband was home - he could keep her company and let me rest! She really wants to be helpful, and she would leave me alone if I demanded it, but that is just so wrong! Telling her to stay away from me is heartbreaking, but being super mom while being super sick is difficult.

I suppose the only thing I can do is let her cuddle next to me and watch a movie....isn't that what mom's are supposed to do? Let's just hope these antibiotics kick in quickly and the road to recovery is speedy!

Here's to getting back to normal and feeling better!

"Grandpa Tell me 'Bout the Good Ole Days"

Today I am reminded of this Judd's tune - "Grandpa (Tell me 'Bout the Good Ole Days)":

Grandpa, tell me 'bout the good ole days.
Sometimes it feels like
This world's gone crazy.
Grandpa, take me back to yesterday,
Where the line between right and wrong
Didn't seem so hazy.

Did lovers really fall in love to stay?
Stand beside each other come what may?
Was a promise really something people kept,
Not just something they would say?
Did families really bow their heads to pray?
Did daddies really never go away?
Whoa oh Grandpa,
Tell me 'bout the good ole days.

musical interlude

Grandpa, everything is changing fast.
We call it progress,
But I just don't know.
And Grandpa, let's wonder back into the past,
And paint me a picture of long ago.

Did lovers really fall in love to stay?
Stand beside each other come what may?
Was a promise really something people kept,
Not just something they would say and then forget?
Did families really bow their heads to pray?
Did daddies really never go away?
Whoa oh Grandpa,
Tell me 'bout the good ole days.

Whoa oh Grandpa,
Tell me 'bout the good ole days.

I love this song - makes me miss my Pawpaw Bud so much - but he was my favorite person!!

Day 37 almost over....

Paranoid Navy Wife

So first let me explain my title. I am a PROUD Navy wife. My husband has been active duty in the United States Navy for 14 years! I have been his wife for 13 of those years and we've been together for over 14 years. I have seen him sworn into the Navy three times now, first time before he left for boot camp and he has re-enlisted two times since that day. I have said goodbye to him three times, before he left on long deployments, and countless times for different short deployments, schools, and other orders he had to follow.

Paranoid - my whole life, I have had someone, who burst my happiness bubble. Some have been blood related to me, some have been related by marriage, and most have just been total strangers really.

The only thing I'm not paranoid about is my marriage. I have a good marriage, an honest husband, and a loving daughter.

Big things I'm paranoid about. Dying in a car crash. I was in a really bad car accident when I was 19, and newly married. I could have died, and so now I am paranoid that it will happen. Dying in a plane crash - since 9/11 that scares me even more. I'm paranoid of snakes jumping out and getting me! I know crazy - right? I'm paranoid that people are always judging me, whether or not I am fat, ugly, what my clothes look like, how my hair looks, whether or not my tattoos are okay - paranoid of being judged about any and everything.

So I am starting this blog as way to post my feelings, frustrations, and paranoid obsessions. Maybe someone out there can help me overcome some of my paranoia - or they can just get a laugh out of my over-reactions! Either way, I'll get to get my feelings out and you'll get to read about it.

I am on day 36 of a long deployment - my husband will return in a few months. Since I waved goodbye to him and his ship, I have become even more paranoid. So look forward to the paranoid rantings of a depressed and deprived Navy wife!

Have a good Monday~